His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
