Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
