Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
