Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
