Sober January is a disaster.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
