wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
