smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
