I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
