I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
