We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
