Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
