i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
