I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
