I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
