she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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