A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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