is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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