I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
