Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
