His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
