I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Come on in and take your pants off
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