I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
