don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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