i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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