I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need to calm my uterus...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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