i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
