worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
