meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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