Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
