): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
