do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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