i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
