I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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