how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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