Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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