I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
