Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
