Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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