Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
