nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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