Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
