Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
