Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
