it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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