dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
