I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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