Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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