belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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