god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you never un-have a 4some
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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