So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
